“How are you feeling?”
A simple yet intriguing question. I am not asking whether you are feeling ‘good’, ‘fine’ or ‘okay’, rather, I am asking you the state of your emotions right now, at this moment when my words are speaking to you. Are you emotionally intelligent enough to answer me? If yes, we probably should meet.
I doubt if many people can really answer this question authentically. I was in the same pool of people, who were blindfolded on their journey in life. Who knew they were having a hard time understanding why they felt the way they did. Who never thought what values one could have. And most importantly, who never gave this a thought – “Do my emotions really matter? “
I am a girl of 18, and making decisions is something that I do everyday. Some of the decisions that I make affect only me, and some decisions affect the people around me too. In this era where everybody is so busy with their lives, we all know its difficult to empathize with the people around. Nonetheless, this is the same reason why one neighbor becomes so inconsiderate with the other neighbor’s needs, why parents fail to understand their children, why a colleague misleads the other colleague’s intention, why wars begin, why people slaughter each other and many more.
I knew none of the aforementioned things before 5 months . My high school was over and I was looking for something to get myself busy with. That’s when a friend of mine suggested to go to a session that would revolve around the idea of emotions,’Start Here’-An intellectual product of My Emotions Matter. With the desire to know what ‘Emotional Intelligence’ really means, I agreed to participate. The 10-day long session was filled with listening, introspecting, sharing, trying, expressing, and nurturing. Every single day we would be introduced to a whole new way of looking at emotions, at the way one feels. We would dive into oceans of deep thoughts and come out with shining pearls of introspection. Once we were told to empathize the way our shoes, all worn and torn by our daily use, might feel of its situation; to personify the shoes and to ‘be in its shoes’. The other time, we were told to carry out an improv in different scenarios. During the improv I played the role in any way I wanted to, without knowing why I was doing it the way I was doing it. But after the improv, when we were introduced to the concept of ‘driver’, ‘passenger’, ‘generator’ and ‘blocker’, a revelation occurred to me. I realized that I was a ‘driver’-one who would rather create rules than follow the ones made by other,and one who would lead rather than follow. I had always been this person and I never knew. I utterly felt the need to be a ‘generator’-who would lead as a ‘driver’ when needed, and who would ‘follow’ as a ‘passenger’ when the situation demands.This learning has been significant. Now I feel I am more aware of myself and my needs, which in turn has improved my relationships. Living a life of purpose has been of utmost priority to me now. And I know what my values are and what I really need to grow.
Today, I am a Research Intern at My Emotions Matter. The ones in whose session I participated are my mentors. I intent to prepare myself for whatever comes up and everyday I am growing in a way I could never think of. I have a family besides my own here at My Emotions Matter. Learning something new has always been fruitful and the intellectual space that we have is invaluable.
Now I can confidently say,”Yes, my emotions matter” and why, “because they define me.”
Shikha Bhattarai is research intern at My Emotions Matter. You can read her blogs here.