After taking the Emotional Intelligence Mindset: Getting out of the BOX, we feel motivated to operate from an Outward Mindset. To make this motivation sustainable, we need simple strategies that keeps us going, even if we slip-up sometimes:
- Develop your feelings and needs vocabulary. Inward Mindset keeps us stuck in a blaming and justifying narrative. The more you can let go of the narrative and connect with underlying feelings and needs, the more outward you can be.
- When you see someone doing something that doesn’t make sense to you, ask yourself: what should the world look like for them to do what they did? Remember, mindset drives behavior- how we see affects what we see. This, in turn, informs what range of choices we have available.
- Apply the Outward Mindset Pattern, SAM, regularly with people you live and work with: See People (what are their needs, objectives and challenges?). Adjust Actions (What can I do to make things easier for them?). Measure Impact (How do I hold myself accountable?).
- Whenever you experience something unpleasant within you, this could be a bodily sensation and/or a feeling, ask yourself: Could I be in the BOX right now? How could my BOX be obscuring the truth about myself and the other person?
- Connection before correction. Help the other person feel heard and understood before rushing to offer your two cents.
Remember, real helpfulness can’t be made into a formula. Operating from an Outward Mindset is a journey, not a destination. There will be challenges. The question isn’t whether or not we will face challenges when operating with an Outward Mindset. The real question is, after having learnt about the self-focused Inward Mindset and impact-focused Outward Mindset, which one will we choose when faced with a challenge?